Alone, not Lonely

Sat, 16 Jun 2007 05:44:26 GMT

well that was anticlimatic. kinda. especially since vicky doesn't know how to take pictures.

Fri, 15 Jun 2007 03:47:34 GMT

school's out.
norton's antivirus is lagging like a bitch.
but whatever. so high school's come to an end. i hate how some people, who i'm not gonna name, thought of high school as a simple, stupid stepping stone to something greater and better. granted, high school is a stepping stone, but it is so much more than a stepping stone. holy shit. to do that is to waste four years of one's life, four years of adolescence, that growing stage that we all need, when we metamorphosize [sic, but WHATEVER, fuck it grammar nazis] from immature pimply teens to young adults.
these four years i've learned so much, so much encoded in the brain.
what's more amazing is all the more that i will learn in college. it's just sad that i only started preparing my brain to learn, to take in new information first before i question them later, so that i have an open mind, only starting in the past few years. how much stuff did i miss? but whatever. what's done is done.

never forget. it is remembrance that keeps us immortal. remembrance kept caesar immortal.

no regrets. no looking back. let's carve a new territory out there for us to conquer.

gah dammit. too many restarts, too many starts and stops. my post is hella bad, but i don't care anymore. fuck you norton.

Thu, 14 Jun 2007 02:59:18 GMT

so.
happy to be home.
it's just a bit sad that MSJ didn't get a bronze medal this year. but whatever. medals aside, i learned so much from camp, not just about biology, but about everything else in general too. all these information are gonna be useful. i'll save the analyses for another day. no point anyway. what's done is done, including biology. let's see what comp sci has in store for me.

Wed, 13 Jun 2007 01:15:05 GMT

no medal.

redemption?

Tue, 12 Jun 2007 16:28:41 GMT

i hope so. theoretical is a lot easier for me than the practical. and it's multiple choice too. since i totally bombed part C of semifinals, i had to have a really good part A+B score, and that's gonna carry over to my theoretical exam. i hope so. at least there weren't too many questions that totally stumped me, but there were a few. let's hope for the best.

totally owned- practical exam

Mon, 11 Jun 2007 23:38:28 GMT

woke up and locked myself out of my room
finally got back into my room--ant infestation. stupid me for leaving doritos open.
so. plants/ecology was okay, except LIFE TABLES SHOWED UP AGAIN. BUT THIS TIME I'M PREPARED!!!! MUAHAHAHAHA SUCKS FOR THE OTHER FINALISTS WHO WERE LIKE, "NAH IT WON'T SHOW UP AGAIN..."
but got raped on the cell bio. whoops, never got to electro gel phoresis because i never read the directions properly, went through four pipettings when i only needed one, and four bottles of e.coli filled to the brim when i only needed 1 ml. fuck. double fuck: i didn't finish that.
triple fuck: nobody told me i had to put on goggles when dissecting. also, screwed up on histology and creating a dichotomy key because i went too detailed. fuckity fuck fuck. my strengths became my weakness.

Sat, 09 Jun 2007 21:03:01 GMT

boring lectures are boring. omg. lol whtf did i expect.
so ya. internships = important.
aldosterone is activated my many different hormones in the kidney.
280 vs 260 vs 255.
ghost ride it hey hey! finally those USABO people learn something new ;P

Sat, 09 Jun 2007 01:39:46 GMT

i hate doing laundry. but my pants button popped so i have to do laundry. grrrr.

Thu, 07 Jun 2007 12:20:35 GMT

i need bigger speakers on this laptop. :)

Wed, 06 Jun 2007 01:34:40 GMT

introducing bay area music to usabo people is really tough. they just don't get it. it's pretty sad :(

Tue, 05 Jun 2007 04:15:47 GMT

all that payette plant shit pays off...50 pages of plant packet to read, and i understand 80% of it ;P

Sun, 03 Jun 2007 21:42:01 GMT

knowledge you gain will never be lost.
it will never be useless, not something for you to forget after a test.
knowledge is something that should stay with you for the rest of your life, a tool on your tool belt that you will never consciously realize that you use, that you will use all the time.
i've told myself this so many times, over and over again, that it has become truth to me. truth does not come from being true. truth comes from repetition. but it is true.
never live as if you've wasted your life. there's no such thing. every moment is precious, every moment is chock full of memories too unique to be wasted.

there's nothing i hate more than hearing people say "what did we learn this for?" "now that the test is over, i can forget all that i've learned," and shit like that. it just ticks me off.

whatev. dinner. i'm gonna go eat and then return.

Sat, 02 Jun 2007 12:15:31 GMT

no hot shower...what the hell is this living hell?
an internet connection that takes 30 minutes to set up and costs 25 dollars when, if i walk 300 feet away into another building i get wifi for free...wtf?
i have an apple sitting on my desk right now. actually i have two desks, one for all my textbooks, one for my laptop and every other piece of shit you can imagine, and, o yeah, a pirate sword.

but i digress.
one new campbell
one new campbell study guide
one ti-89ti to replace my broken one

hell, i just broke even if i spent all $300 i have with me. i love USABO camp. okay, no. the living quarters are crap, and most people here are ugly with a lot of pimples. but whatever, i'm vain stupid and ugly.

o ya, just curious, did they mention my name at the awards ceremony?

o yeah, has anyone heard of something called a nimea worm? it's attempted to attack me 5 times in the past minute. let's hope it doesn't succeed.
i almost lost my keys and my mealcard on the first day here too. amazing.

Thu, 31 May 2007 02:49:01 GMT

i wonder if itunes 7.2 is stable. i'm gonna wait before i download it for sure.
o ya, i heard there's a fire at MSJ. can someone give me details on that?

Tue, 29 May 2007 02:46:32 GMT

slow news day eh?
ya waiting. just waiting. meh.

seize the day and never let go. i should've done that a long time ago, when i didn't waste time by thinking, what the hell, there's always another day, high school will never end.
what the hell. this is no time for a someone should've told me moment. it's a why didn't i listen.

i know this sounds really spoiled, but suddenly i don't look forward to wasting two weeks at USABO camp. what the hell. why didn't i cram campbell last year and get in and have fun, why does it have to be my senior year, when every minute of school left is so special, so precious for me?

what's there to care for?

Sat, 26 May 2007 04:38:57 GMT

don juan is my role model ;P
god i'm so bad.

not to mention so pathetic.

Fri, 25 May 2007 01:35:48 GMT

lol i got owned by allergies today. i feel like my nose is going to explode.
it's 1440x900. how am i gonna find a wall paper for that?

Wed, 23 May 2007 03:29:47 GMT

there's something i find very annoying.
that is when someone blames society/other people/anything but themselves for their own shit.
seriously. grow a pair. a pair of eyes. i sound like mr. richards, but what he says is so stupid because it's painfully obvious. it's even more stupid when it's extremely painfully obvious, but no one takes heed of it.
i'm tired of listening to vicky bitch about how she hates this and that and learning about this shit and that shit because it's all useless. that is the stupidest shit i've ever heard. there's no such thing as learning useless shit, especially in school. you're just too stupid to figure out what it's for and you don't want to admit it. you take the easy road and say, that's stupid, and think that's the end of that. but it's not. it's just denial. whenever the world is against you and it's not just freak accident, there's two sources: either the world is really a big scary place, or you're just being a douchebag. it's your fault. it could be either possibility.
i used to think that it's the world that's messed up, not me. really. i bet a lot of people out there think that too. it wasn't until two years ago that i realized that there was a remote possibility it was just me. so i changed. i adapted to the game. and my life improved. really. stop thinking that you're perfect, all of you, and that it's everything around you that doesn't work. see from the other side. consider the "remote" possibility that you just don't get it.
of course, i have confidence that one day vicky will understand why she's memorizing those "stupid" country names, why she's reading that "stupid" lord of the flies, and memorizing all the parts of the human body only to spit it out on the SAT II bio. it's what makes you care, what makes you understand what others are talking about, what makes you think of a better way to solve the world's problem while drinking at a bar alone at night, what improves your quality of life. if only she'd get it, understand that the brain is not an attic with limited space, but rather a black hole: the more you understand, the more you will be able to understand. so even with that, what "waste" is learning something "useless?" there is so much "junk" knowledge in my brain that winds up to be useful in real life. knowledge isn't a waste of time. if it is, the government would not even fund education, since education obviously works to generate increased tax income, and generally, a smarter people lead more productive and meaningful life.
and then there are the people who flaunt their ignorance. bush is just one of many examples, many that you see at school. "oooh done with a test, dump my knowledge down the drain." that's stupid. why flaunt your ignorance? people don't flaunt the fact that they're poor. so why do it? to impress people? you just show others how stupid and shallow you are. it's almost sad.

but whatever. not like i'm gonna make a difference in anyone's world, because people who think that the world is wrong and they are right will never listen. they will only change on their own. i hope they do. after all, that Vtech murderer thought the world is wrong and he is right. why didn't he ever stop and think about that it might just be he who has a problem? i've stopped and thought about it end of freshman year. that's pretty much turned my life around for me. i look at the murderer, and i think, "goddamn, that person could've been me if i didn't change. i would do the exact same thing. but is that right? no. that's a shallow, stupid thing to do." so what if people bullied you? have you ever thought about changing yourself? even if it's actually others who are wrong, isn't it easier to change yourself than changing others? why do people never think of that?

it almost makes me want to cry.

[edit] oh ya, when i say "you," i'm not talking only about vicky or certain people. i'm talking about you in the sense of everyone and no one at the same time. you know, like the general you know, stuff like that.

Mon, 21 May 2007 01:01:47 GMT

choral tour
gah i can't believe there was no internet connection. i feel deprived.
but not really. i guess i can survive without being connected.

overall, i didn't enjoy it that much. i hated the sleeping on the gym floor/being around so many people 24/7 / the people who never shut up when i'm sleeping/the snoring/the never-ending performance that totally killed by throat. i guess i'm a lot like my mom: if i can find a way to complain, i complain. it's a bad habit, really is.

ooh, and then we got new risers for chorale! except on the first night we used it, someone puked on it! not cool.

ok i'm tired. i'll finish the rest later.

Wed, 16 May 2007 02:35:08 GMT

i don't understand "catcher in the rye."
not that i'll try not to. i'll actually try to understand it. it's an interesting book. i just don't get it, that's all.
so ya. savage sub for english. i should've ditched that class, knowing that nothing was gonna happen anyway. but i went, and that sub hated me. whatev. i return the favor. fucking shit fuck.

Mon, 14 May 2007 03:49:27 GMT

i feel kinda pathetic right now. =/

Sat, 12 May 2007 02:12:27 GMT

wtf. gmail preview works, but gmail itself doesn't. is anyone else currently experiencing this kind of trouble? if so plz tell me.

Thu, 10 May 2007 04:01:45 GMT

if i see someone else uploading prom pics on fbook, i'm gonna delete my account.

Wed, 09 May 2007 02:25:56 GMT

Libra (Sep 23 - Oct 22)

Your ruling planet Venus, now seen as an evening star, is especiallypotent for you, but she may not bring you harmonious love while inemotional Cancer this month. Instead, you need to come to grips withyour vulnerabilities as you protect yourself from the hurtful sting oflove's arrow. Unfortunately, you could feel overexposed and open tojudgment. Forget about what anyone else thinks; just ask for what youwant.

i love horoscopes.

soma vacation

Wed, 09 May 2007 02:19:12 GMT

here i go. i'll see you all one-three weeks later and hope for the better =P
this better be a good idea.